John 16:33
We suddenly had low tire pressure. It was out of the blue and continually getting worse throughout the week.
We would frequent the gas stations to put in more air but soon found it occurring multiple times daily.
This trip wasn’t just a little trip. We were not a half hour from home. We were THOUSANDS of miles away from anyone we knew. I could feel the panic rising inside my chest. My palms were getting sweatier. I was TRYING to remain calm but failing miserably. I started pinching myself until I had black and blue marks. We were in Maine and from Minnesota…well, that’s about 1,700 miles.
This was a PTSD trigger, but I didn’t know it. It goes way back to when I was little.
We were out of gas, and my Dad hitch-hiked (back when hitch-hiking was safe) to the gas station and left the rest of our family on the side of the road. I was under the age of five, but somewhere in my subconscious, I still have a deep-seated fear of being stranded on the side of the road.
Thus, here we were, with a tire we soon discovered had a nail in it. It was now Friday. We had limped the tire along for the past day and a half, but as we hiked Acadia National Park, we noticed it was not good when we returned to the van. It wasn’t holding like it had the past two days. There was no way we would make it home on this tire tomorrow. I started to hyperventilate internally.
I know, I know. Don’t worry; it will all work out. When anxiety is high, that is the LAST thing you say to a person with an anxiety disorder. I know, I know. Just pray. Give it to Jesus. I was already doing that, believe me! No one needs to remind me to pray!
When anxiety is high, a person can’t even think past the problem in front of them.
All I can do in these moments is cry, “God, help me. I need you desperately, right now.” In all my experiences, He always provides a way. He rescues, and he solves the problem. He calms and restores. It isn’t always right away but always in His perfect timing. So, why do I still deal with this? Human nature. Plain and simple. He says,
“In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
We were leaving early on Saturday and heading for New York State. It was Friday. We called our rental company, and they secured another van for us, but it was in Bangor, ME. We were in Ellsworth. It was afternoon.
So Brian and I made a date out of it, bought the boys pizza in the hotel, and headed on a road trip to Bangor, praying all the way that the tire would make it there!
Rain poured on the way as we stopped to fill up the gas and put more air in the tire. When we arrived in Bangor, the rain had finally stopped. We did the paperwork and left with our new vehicle. As we were leaving, a whole double rainbow filled the sky. Once again, God reminded me that He’s got everything under control.
He even has me, and it WILL be okay,
not because of some dumb cliché saying, but because he is God of the universe, knows my coming and my going, and
he holds all my days in his hands.
He reminded me that He is true to His promises and that He’s taking care of everything, so I don’t have to worry…or be anxious about anything. I love His promises, and I can rest easy, even thousands of miles away from home, because, with Him, I am home no matter where I am.
