On vacations with Chronic Illness, my body will decide whether it is going to be in charge or not. It will determine when I need to take a break; it will tell me. It takes learning to listen. There will be clues to look for. Painful clues. Joint pain. Inflammation. Extreme tiredness transcends even into attitude at times if I allow it!
Years of dealing with Fibromyalgia and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome have taught me a valuable lesson, and yet. And yet. Those two words. I struggle so much with thinking I can conquer it all. I get so excited while on vacation! I want to soak it all in. Take in all the sites possible. I mean, who knows when I’ll be back? Then I’m a walking zombie shuffling slowly behind my family and snapping like an alligator at everyone and wishing I could take it all back.
Until this trip…North Carolina. It was beautiful. I was fifty pounds heavier than I am now and not on a med that helps fight some of my chronic pain now, either. On this trip, we hiked in the Smokey Mountains. My body was quite fatigued from flying, driving around, and all of the hiking, but I wasn’t going to back down on this beautiful day as we visited Chimney Rock State Park.
When I saw the height of the rocky cliff, my legs trembled. I thought I could do it. One of the other reasons we were going to this park was that it had a cool elevator for my son, who has an elevator channel and films all over the country. I thought I could take the elevator to the top. It is a 26-story elevator that gets you there in just a few seconds!
We sadly discovered the elevator was out of order that day. The climb to the top of Chimney Rock is over 500 stairs, and I was already tired. Plus, I knew we were planning to hike after this to a waterfall near there.
I had to choose to rest now or suffer later.
My husband went with my one son while my youngest gladly sat with me, and we enjoyed the view of the river valley below. I was sad. I voiced my sadness to my son with tears in my eyes, wishing I could do everything like everyone else. He stated some straightforward yet wise words to me at the young age of fourteen years.
“It’s not that you can’t do it, Mom. You could come back and do it another time. You’re just choosing your best option for today, and you would rather see the waterfall than climb some dumb rocks.” I was at first awestruck at his poignant yet wise words. He was right. I COULD do it. I was just choosing the BEST option for my body. If I had to make a choice between them, I would choose the waterfall!
He was entirely right. I needed the rest from what we had already done that morning in preparation for the almost mile-and-a-half hike over the rocky and wet terrain of the Hickory Nut Falls hike that came next.
If you have ever watched Last of the Mohicans, this iconic Waterfall, which Daniel Day-Lewis ran up and down for the last twenty minutes of the movie during the whole fight scene, is THE waterfall. It was a slippery and wet hike to the falls, which took us 45 minutes to an hour. As the falls got closer, you could hear the roar of the water. Oh my! Was it beautiful! It was worth the rest. I’m glad I listened to my body and took the break I needed to venture on this hike to the falls.
I didn’t overdo it and pushed my energy levels beyond what I could. If I had, it would have left me in a deficit for the next day.
If we don't make a choice of when to rest, our bodies will make it for us, whether we want them to or not. As I'm learning this chronic illness journey, I'm learning to listen to my body and say, “Okay, I hear you. Today, we will rest.”
